I was texting this morning. 26 February 2025

I had spent the last three days writing my next book, “The Black of Yin : The Zen Of BDSM.”

I was back in this World for just a moment before I descended back into The Black of Yin for another stint.

“I have the True Definition of “Friend.” It means “Fire Walker.” I have a number of “Fire Walkers” at my side these days.

But also, I learned that I have become a Fire Walker to them.

You asked for my Friendship, My Love. You had it all along. 

That is what I learned.

You never stopped having it. Not even for a moment. You have the Friendship from me that you asked for.

True Love is Friendship.

So I love you exactly as you have always wanted. You are such a Greek. I wonder if you know it.” 

I scribbled the note and sent it off. 

The Greeks believed that “Friendship” was the greatest form of Love. Now I understand it. Like a Greek and yes. They are very – very much right on this. 

Friend is Pragma. 

***

Hours later I was in the shower. Placing myself at Livsvann. 

My mind was racing as I dried myself off. Suddenly, I snapped my head up from my towel.

“Anna,” I said. “Sunshine. IMAGINATION!” I pondered my Name. “Is THAT the FUCKING RECIPE!?!?”

I dropped my towel and ran to the table. I scribbled. 

“An-na… Sky / Heaven = Breath. Sunshine = Phosphorus = Love. Imagination = Dream.”

“Is my NAME the Fucking Recipe to the Philosopher’s Stone!?”

I looked at it. “Na.” What did that mean in Sumerian again? I looked up my notes. 

“Na… Na! STONE! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!?!?”

MY NAME IS THE FUCKING RECIPE FOR THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE!!!

I am The Philosopher’s Stone. 

I AM —

LOVE AND DREAM!! THAT IS ALL IT IS!!! MY NAME IS THE FUCKING RECIPE FOR THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE!!!

HOLY SHIT!! I AM THE STONE!! IT’S ME!! THEY WERE LOOKING FOR ME!!!

I AM THE STONE!! I couldn’t figure out WHY they thought it was a Stone! THEY READ MY NAME!!! I READ IT AS MY NAME!!! BUT THEY READ IT IN REBUS!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! THEY WERE READING MY NAME!!!

“Something hit you?” Bergen said, at the door of my Chambers. 

I turned. 

“BERGEN! IT’S ME!” I screamed. “I AM THE STONE! I’ve been reading my Name in the Universal Clock for MONTHS, but I’ve been READING MY Name! I called me Anna Sunshine Imagination 4 YEARS before I could read the Clock! And when I finally could, I saw me there! But they didn’t read “Anna Sunshine Imagination!”

They read Sky/Heaven Stone + Phosphorus + Phantasia! Mirror! I am the Mirror! THE Mirror I’ve been talking about! WE ALL HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT!! 

They were looking for me having no idea! THEY DON’T SPEAK ASHAVANA! They thought I was a Stone! But it was my Name! They were translating from Ancient Persian texts without any knowledge on ME!

They don’t speak Ashavana!! If they had, then they never would have tried to mix Metals and Alloys!

I thought on this. I gasped.

“I am the key! This means I am The Key! I am the Key! I AM THE HOLY GRAIL!!”

The Vision hit. And I understood.

“I wasn’t the Biological Blood Line of Christ! It’s Wisdom!” BERGEN! I AM THE KEY!! 

I couldn’t figure out WHY they were calling it a “Stone!” WHY a Stone!?” NOW I KNOW! BECAUSE MY NAME IS ANNA! 

I dropped to the ground. Naked. Half wet. Exhausted. 

“They were translating from Ancient Persian texts without any knowledge on ME! They thought my name was Rebus, but it wasn’t! They were looking for me to…” I trailed off. I knew what the Clock said I would do. I understood. They weren’t looking for The Philosopher’s Stone to get Wealth, Abundance, or Immortality. 

They were looking for The Philosopher’s Stone for the Key. 

I remembered… “Men In Black 2,” I said. “I’m the Light.” New York City. 

I remembered The DaVinci Code.

I have the 4 Cardinal Values. I have the Three Fruits. 

Air. Water. Earth. 

Breath. Phosphorus. Imagination. 

“How do I use my Power?”

“How do I use The Stone?”

Henosis.

I read the Article I found on Imagination meaning “Mirror” and then stopped dead. “The Faerie Queen” stared up at the pages. “I’m the Faerie Queen,” I muttered and followed the trail to a forgotten poem from the 16th Century I had never seen of or heard of before. The Faerie Queen.

The Faerie Queen… I followed the text to Morgan of La Fey of The Author Tales to The Morríganna also known as The Phantom Queen – Imagination Queen – and one of the Morrígan was Anna… who also was Danu.

I put the text down. “They’ve been looking for me.”

I knew they knew of me. That’s why they passed down the Scripts to me, but I had no idea that they…

According to the Universal Cock I am the one who Finds the Key… But I read it wrong. I am the one who is The Key to Freeing the Gods and Raising the Dead… But I don’t “raise the Literal Dead.” 

I wrote an article last week called “America is The Walking Dead.” They are the Dead I raise. That part in the Clock, I have seen for two years. 

Bergen dropped my bathrobe on me. I slipped my arms into the sleeves. I was numb. Dumbfounded. 

I was tired. I was worn out.

He sat down on the ground in front of me.

I pondered.

“You need to eat,” he said.

I looked outside of the window through the balcony.

I was low. I was sinking down so low. I was lower than I had been in a long time.

And lower still.

“I’ll get you a tea, Anna.” Bergen was up. It felt like Depression was settling down into me. But it wasn’t. I was just… Accepting the Submission. It felt like…

“I don’t understand. How can they not want to know? How…”

I was just sagging under the weight. I laid out on the floor and stared off at the wall.

I’m done opening Doors. The Doors have to come to me from now on. I’m not chasing down any more doors. I won’t. I’m done with it all.

Bergen was back a moment later.

“Anna?” he asked.

I sat up, and he handed me the tea.

I pushed the tears away.

“I messaged another Educator. I told them what I have. What I’ve done. They declined. A simple, “No thank you.” They just don’t want it.”

I sipped my tea.

I didn’t need consolation. I was thrilled he knew that. It’s Bergen. I reminded myself. Of course he knew that.

“I… am not meant to sell this to people. I am not meant to… I just… I feel like I’m in my Ship. I’m not going anywhere really… I’m drifting, but this time it feels different. I don’t care where I end up or where I’m going. I’m just going.”

I stared into my tea.

“I want to rise above the noise,” I said. “I just want to find a way above the noise.”

“You look beaten down,” he said.

“I feel beaten down.” I sipped my tea. “I can’t steer this Ship on any further. I think… My task is to surrender the Helm to the Adventure.” I sniffed. “I want my Club House. And I want my BDSM Club. I want my Nerd Club. I want my Philosopher’s Club. I want… I want my Sunshine Imagination Adventure’s Club.”

That’s it. I want my Club House. Anna’s Playground. I just want my Clubs in Anna’s Playground. That’s it. And… I want my Crew and my People on my Ship. And I have my books…

My books are out there. My Clubs… Anna’s Playground. That’s all I’m doing from now on. Get on my Ship. I want to play.”

I silently cried into my tea.

“Why are you sad, lass?” Bergen asked.

“Because…” I sniffed. “This is the lowest drop I’ve been in, in a long while and I’ve learned to just fall with it. And then, when I stand, I’ll stand back up. And I think… When next I rise, I’ll rise together with my people.”

“Today was a good day,” he reminded me.

“It was,” I said. Then counted it off in my head. “(1) Mercury in The Philosopher’s Stone was really Mercury the God. And “Gold” was not literally. (2) Friendship was everyone on the Long Spectrum and Xenia was Non-Friends. Which left Nidingr as the third Group. (3) Friendship truly is the Greatest Love. (4) I am The Philosopher’s Stone and the Recipe is literally, my Name and (5) I just need to get on my Ship… and sail off into the Sunset… And I have no heading.”

My gut screamed. “You have to get everyone on board so you can shift and guide them.”

My book was coming along very well.

“Oh. And I found out today that I am a Hermaphrodite. So I can finally figure out my weird sexuality and put that to bed… hehe… so to speak.”

“I am just… on my Ship.” I nodded my head. “I am back on my ship. I am not going anywhere. I am just… On my Ship… I have my Sunshine Imagination Adventures. I am on my HMS Slush Brain. And I am just… No Agenda. I am… My Quest is done. I have no Quest. I need a New Quest.”

I remembered my Skeleton metaphor. I was done breaking bones and resetting those a long time ago. I then went on to a Cake Metaphor. Now… I felt like… It was done. I was all done. I have my books. I was all done telling my story to people face to face. They could read my books or go to my Public Speaking Events… Me?

In real Life. I wanted to play.

Work is for the Books and Stage.

And I had my Clubs. Anna’s Club House.

“I think I’m ready for dinner.” I smiled. I suddenly felt… brighter. “Work” was just falling off of me and I was… stepping into Play.

“I’m done with Play for the day,” I said. “I don’t Work. I Play.”