I flew back down to my room and landed on the balcony, folding my wings as I stepped down from the railing.

Bergen was there waiting for me.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

I bent down and collected my papers and the Tome.

“Anna?” he asked.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like Remembering?” I asked. “Remembering the stuff of Gods. Not as someone who watched The Gods. Not as someone who watched Mother Nature Do, but as Mother Nature Doing?

Do you have any idea what it was like Remembering everything? And then looking around today and seeing all that they’ve done with it? Do you!? Do you have any idea what it is like Remember building this place? Being given this Garden as a Wedding Present and filling it with people?

Giving them a Game so that they might Join us — My Husband and I — only to see all that they’ve done with it? Do you have any idea what its like having the Power to just burn it all to the ground while also loving them all so much that you want to just keep giving them chance after chance and Forgiveness?

While you watch your Children hurt themselves on the very thing you built to empower them? Do you have any idea what its like?

You wonder — Did I make a mistake?”

I dropped the books on my desk and heaved a sigh.

“How does it all end?” he asked.

I knew.

“They eventually listen to me,” I said. “They set it all right. They turn it around. Those who listen to learn first are the first to heal. And it spreads. Eventually, they all band together and they all help each other. But my god do they suffer in the process. And that suffering is part of the Spell required for it to work. They suffer now because they didn’t suffer enough.

“And I wish I could save them from the suffering, but that is part of the Spell. If ever we are to learn and relish one Extreme, we must first learn the most Greatest Extreme of its exact Opposite in equal quantities of Knowing. For the Balance — above all else — must always be Preserved.”

“So… You just have to sit here for a while and watch their Suffering while you hold the Solution that they push away.”

I nodded and wiped a tear from my eye.

“And this too is my Trial,” I said softly.

I sighed.

“It was a productive day. Finding this,” I said. “It confirmed everything. I validated everything. Now I know when. I know how. I know what. I know why.”

“Spell work is a Precise Alchemy requiring the Chemistry of Math. It’s Creation through Word. You don’t fuck with the Laws of Alchemy without substantial training.”

I traced the lines, “Corpus Hermeticum” with my finger.

“Henosis,” I said. “It is the Unity into One. Integrated into One. Demons are the Disintegration from Henosis. Plato’s Point is Henosis.”

“Of all the books that were burned, they should have burned this one,” I said.

“Strong words coming from you,” Bergen said. “This book does not contain knowledge. It contains Lies. If it had been burned with Alexandria, none of it — None of it would have happened.”

“And Newton?”

My shoulders sank. “Newton,” I whispered. “Okay. I am glad this book didn’t burn.”

“You’ve replaced it, Anna,” Bergen said. “You’ve already corrected it. It’s all in your work. In you Archives and Annals. It’s done.”

I nodded.

“This is a Journey,” I said. “And right now, I just wish to get back to it.”

“You were going to break everything down to the base,” he said.

“I was,” I said. “You’re right. And I’m stuck because I haven’t it.”

I walked over to my bed and dropped face down.

“The classes in Kenya are growing, week by week. Connections are made, shuffled, I stepped back. I’ve been told I’m trying too hard. I lay down ground. I have people and appointments pending. My Mind is in the wrong place. This is not the right place for me. I feel it.

I’m in the wrong Perspective. But also, this is me just passing through this “wrong” Perspective on my way to the “Right” Perspective.

Show me the next step,” I said. “Show me the next step.”

I remembered then the 7th Ethic. Observe and Watch. Learn and Listen. Humble Submission to the Lesson.

All of this is because we lost The Core Academic Discipline — The Freedom to…

I sat up.

“You know… this is all that all of this is about. Freedom to Know Truth. Freedom to become What we are. Freedom to Know what we are. Freedom to know How to become what we are. And of all the Disciplines in all of the World ever, this one this Discipline — Jediology — is the Hardest. Because it had to be.

Yes. We are Gods. Yes. Our Memories were taken away from us all. That was part of the Test. We had to not remember. We had to do this without Memory.

Yes. This is the Hardest Trial of All. Yes. We had to Pass this Trial without any God Knowledge. We had to Do this one as Men. To become Gods again.

And Yes. Only the precise Alchemical Formula in the precise Logical Sequence would unlock the Discipline. And everyone — Everyone — was looking for it.

It’s only The Self, The Mind, and Mental Fortitude. And the Knowledge. But they don’t even know what they’re looking for. It’s buried deep inside of us.”

“I have to Name it now,” I said.

I felt it. I was at the Naming of it.

“We all are in God School. And we all lost The Instruction Manual nearly 2,000 years ago because some jackass Bully at the Playground decided they would skip class, hoard the lesson books, keep us all small and stupid, so they could be King of the Small and Stupid.

They even built us an “Small and Stupid Conditioning System” to keep us all — what did Serj Tankian call us? “The Unthinking Majority.”

So now we all are small and stupid. And some of us figured out that “somethings going on.” But the Kings of Small and Stupid is doing everything in their power to make sure we don’t figure it out. But they are. Only… they weren’t expecting me. A single girl born and raised in the Ancient Greek Educational System, with an Intuition for finding and building The Instruction Manual to God School.”

“So here it is,” I say to the world. “Be Free.”

“Anna,” Bergen said. “What are you carrying on your Shoulders?”

I looked at him.

“You’re not saying what needs to be said. What are you doing? Why are you running in circles, pouring through Tomes? What are you looking for, Queen Anna?”

“I feel… Powerless. Like I’ve lost Momentum. And I’m chasing it. I’m chasing Momentum. Trying to get it back. Hoping to get it back. I keep thinking… maybe if I… can get the Momentum going… Then maybe I can…”

He leaned closer, a smirk on his face, “Physics doesn’t work that way.”

I looked up at him. I laughed. I laughed so hard, and he smiled wide.

“No,” I said. “No, it does not.”

“So how does Physics work?” he said.

“I have to excite people,” I said. “I have to generate excitement so much that they jump in and join and carry the Energy.”

There it is.

I can get them excited about the Change I’ve built and the Solutions I’ve built through The Community Gaia and The Healing Garden.

I can get them excited about the return of the Educational System from God School.

I can get them excited about the Relief from their Mental Anguish.

I can get them excited about the Answers from Ancient Greece finally returned to end this 2,000 Year fucking nightmare we’ve all been living.

I can get them excited about my WEIRD ASS BOOKS,” I said. “I just don’t know how to get them to even listen to me… when… I speak in tongues.”

“You sound like you are suddenly more clear than you’ve ever been before on who you are, what you are, and what all of this is. You know what this is?”

I looked at him. “What?”

“You’re working it out how you’re going to tell them.”

I scoffed. “You’re right,” I said. “I have to break it to them. It feels like I have to do this 8 Billion person reveal of “Children. I am your Mother. I know you were expecting your Father, but you’re getting your Mother. Daddy will be along shortly.”

And I’m afraid… they won’t love me. I gave them Free Will. They had to have Free Will so they could Consent and thus have Freedom. They don’t have to Love me. But I love them anyway. Storge.

This world is Chaos. And they will learn among the Chaos that Love is the Chaos. And also… they’ll find this all at the right time.”

“And if you just lay back and surrender to the Logic?” he asked.

“Trust the Logic,” I said, smiling affectionately. “I know it all works out as it will in the right time. I just… feel restless. I feel restless, Bergen. I feel restless.”

There it was. I needed to learn how to sit with Restlessness.

“It’s never been so bad before in my life. And this is all about me Controlling it. It’s about me Controlling Time. And not allowing Time to Control me.”

I breathed deep and slow.

“The pressure is massive,” I said. “I feel it. It’s built and it’s so heavy. I can feel it. And I can feel the Power I’m sitting on. But I will not be controlled by it. I’m excited. I’m so excited. And it’s coming soon… But this is about me disciplining the Physics. Learning how to manage the Physics within me.”

I took another deep slow breath.

“The Energy had built up. I was boiling over with Surplus. It wasn’t for me to “do” anything with it. I needed to reverse my Polarity. I didn’t didn’t need it flowing in to Nourish Self. I needed it flowing out to Nourish Others. And I was ready to put it out into the World.

Which is why I wrote so much. I had to show them how to do it. How I did it while I do it. So I write.

“The winds are changing,” I said. “I can feel it. Everything is shifting and moving… Everything is changing direction.”

I sat back and surrendered myself to the Change. Take it all down. Bare minimum.

“We stay the Course,” I said. “Keep true to the Heading. We go Through. Get this Knowledge and Wisdom to The People. No matter what. We stay True to the Course.”

I needed to rest. I needed to just put it all down and sleep.

I felt like my Voice was drowning among Millions. I needed to get up and above them. I needed to be heard. I needed to be Seen. I needed to rise up and out and over.

At last. The Stepping Stone I was looking for — at long last — was visible and on the Horizon.