A moment later, I was back down in the Dungeon.

I looked around at the cold Stone.

“Warmer,” I said, and the room obeyed. Pillows of Gem Tones, Couches, Red Velvets littered the floor. All the BDSM feel of the Dungeon was gone. Strongly muted.

I had no stomach for Violence anymore anyway. I wanted Sensual, Tender, and Gentle.

I looked around the Room.

“I thought a lot about the 3.5 Edition of Dungeons & Dragon and The Book of Vile. It inspires me.”

But…

I was holding back.

“Ethical Debauchery.”

The room was still shifting to my will. Taking shape as I Dreamed it into being. It evolved with Logical Passing as I modified. A Spa came to mind.

A Spa atmosphere appeared.

“Oh. That’s new.”

I wanted a crackling fire place. More “Devil’s Lounge” than a “Devil’s Dungeon.” The room obliged. A round Couch circled around a Coffee Table that doubled as a Fire pit.

“Better.”

Vines and Plants. Red and Blue LED Lighting that could be changed out for Greens and Purples.

“Less Pimp. More Class,” I said.

Elegant Black graced the scene with a Dry Bar. “I do not believe Sex and Alcohol should ever mix,” I said. Alcohol strips Consent. It does not “Lower Inhibitions. It is Self-Rape.” I strictly ban the combination of Sex and Alcohol.

And Sex and Drugs for that matter.

“If you can’t have sex Sober, then what are you doing?”

Now…

I sat down on Couch and looked around the room. I was struggling to find the right ratio of “Cozy” with “Sexuality” and… “Purple Cuddle Puddles.”

I said it and the room became.

The colors changed to Purples, Yellows, Greens… MUCH nicer and I dropped to the Floor. No Couch at all. I giggles.

Imagination needed to own this Room. Not Kallan… Not yet.

I looked around the room. White gossamer drifted from the ceiling.

Sensual. The LED’s shifted to a soft yellow light.

The Environment was taking shape.

It was representing more and more my Inner Sanctity.

I imagined this room filled with people who — Nope! That door closed.

I imagined the Imp King here and my belly purred.

I tried to imagine others here.

Nope! That door closed.

I sighed and sat back in the cushions.

“Why?” I asked.

I looked at my Imp King.

“But you don’t want me,” I whispered to him. “So then why are you here?”

He said nothing.

“I was willing to let you go. If that is the Will of the Universe, I welcome the Letting Go of you. But no matter how much I Will the Letting Go of you… I can’t.” It is as if She — I? — or You… Like we’re not done with each other yet.

But how… How do you fit into my World? You must join this World of mine, my King… or we need to let this go.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he said to me.

“What do you want?” I asked him, but then I realized… I was asking myself. I was afraid to Wish for what I wanted out of Fear of my Wishes hurting him.

But did I wish Celibacy and thus, my Wish would enslave him?

Or did I wish Sexual Freedom, and thus my Wish would hurt him.

“And what if your Wish is my Wish?”

I thought on this.

I couldn’t find my Metric on the Spectrum. I felt like a spinning compass and I couldn’t find my Sexual North. I shut down my Sexuality. I didn’t deal with it. I didn’t address it. I didn’t learn. Now that…

“I wanted the Freedom to be me,” I explained. “And I wanted to Play. My Sexuality was just me. It wasn’t even Sexual. it was just… A word we used to fill in what I really am. I felt like they took my Play and my…. “This Unknown Word” and they came to me with their Sexuality. But it wasn’t mine. It was just… Play. And Freedom and this “Unknown Word” and they didn’t understand it! They didn’t understand it. And the best thing they could call it was “Sexual.” But it wasn’t.

It was never at all ever Sexual.

It has no Name. Not yet.

It is a “thing” that sits between Play and Sex.

It was my Freedom and Free Spirit and Play. It was my Adventure. And my Sunshine and my… “X” … And everyone else in their Roman World didn’t know what it was so they called it “Sex,” but it wasn’t! It never was!

I was screaming now. I was enraged.

And my “X” — whatever this was — It was Fun and Adventure! It was Wild and Free! It was Dancing and My Intimacy! But they were never part of My Intimacy! They only thought they were!

What they thought was Their Intimacy was my Normal! And that is not at all My Intimacy! Because they were so Un-intimate, they had no idea what any of that was!

And what I want is the Freedom to be Me! I want the Freedom to be “X” and I want the Freedom to Play and just be… Free Spirit! And Naked and Nude and maybe, if I’m among like-minded people who share in my Culture — who understand — and who are Ancient Greek too and are Insiders, Maybe, if I’m with my Imp King, and we are overwhelmed with Love and Joy and “X” then maybe I’ll take my husband right where we stand, and we would make love on the spot.

And whoever wished to stop and watch, let them. But that is not at all an invitation to touch.

And if… if… If they too stripped down and had sex, fine. But watching is not at all Touching. And not many people can understand this. Not many people “get” this.

What I crave is Cultural. And too many people use my Culture to rape others. They use my Culture to justify their Mental Illness.

But for me, it was my Culture. It was the Freedom too Express. The Freedom to be Human. The Freedom to Play and Dream and be all the Human. But never the Freedom to Touch!

And I didn’t want lurkers or voyeurs! I wanted Cultural brethren who understood my Culture!

And there is this… “X” that sits between Play and Sex… And Play and “X” is mine! It is who I am. And this “X” that I have in me, that I carry…

It sits at the bottom of my womb.

I felt like a Nymph, a Goddess, and a Changeling, walking among “Wannabe’s” and Rapists who preyed upon my Kind. And I wanted my Kind. I wanted my Kin and my Clan. I wanted my Culture.

And there were times where, I felt it in you. You were of my Clan and Culture. But then — near the end — I felt their Sick on you. And it was no longer about The Culture because it was what we are, but rather about your Malnourishment, your Consumption, your Sick that you picked up from them because Mental Illness is Highly Contagious. And Highly Lethal. And you chose — you kept choosing — to infect yourself with their Sick.

You, like so many people, thought you were immune to their Highly Contagious Sick. And it got on you and in you. And I watched you become what you were not.

And so… Now… I seek my Culture. I seek my Clan and my Culture. But no one — Gets it. They are too oblivious to “X.”

So maybe I’ll never define “X” for the World. Maybe I’ll leave that known only to me. And if you can come to me and Define “X” — Maybe if you actually can Figure it out, then — and only then — will I then know you are my Clan and you are my Culture. And you are of my Blood. And only those of my Blood know what “X” actually is.

So let us call this then “The God X” and either you know what I’m talking about or you don’t.

I looked at my Imp King. He stood in silence. Listening. Waiting.

“I came here to try and explore entertaining the idea of my touching and being touched by others…” I shook my head. And now… the Ethics are very clear. Playful and Free Will and Freedom and “X” are clearly here… and not one of them means that a person has passed the Love Trial and Stages of Intimacy to have the privilege or Right of Passage to my body…”

“I came here to try and explore a Dungeon for Orgies… And I learned that all I want… is you.”