Humanity.
You cannot just explore one aspect of it. You must explore all of it. You must explore ever part of Humanity that is.
If I were to examine the Common Denominators of Humanity, I would say they are :
- Sexuality and Intimate Love and Bonding with a Bonded Mate
- Parenting and Propagation with Children and Offspring
- Education and Self Exploration. Self Discovery and Learning.
- Dream Creation and Nourishment of Earth, Others, and All.
- Community Propagation, Nourishment, and Play
I walked through the Gardens to the newly refurbished — Refurbished? — Lighthouse. I pushed open the Heavy, double Oak door, which made it feel like more of a Castle than a Lighthouse. Inside, it was Greek in design. Regal. Classic. A water fountain. Spiral Staircase. A door ahead that led to a Great Hall — The Great Hall — and a side door to the Right — Our Chambers and the Philosopher Halls — and a side door to the Left.
I smiled.
I walked to the door to the Left.
I pushed it open to find a stone step spiraling down, which I followed. Knowing. Torches lit my path and, after a few moments, I can to a wooden door at the bottom of the steps and pushed that one open as well. My Dungeon waited for me. Red Velvet. Red lighting. Black Stone.
I knew I stood out of place with my Rainbow hair and naked, nymph-like body.
Imagination. My True Self. And… The BDSM Mistress Fae Queen.
I slid my hand through my hair, changing my rainbow to deep, dark red. Black, leather pants, leather boots hugged my body from the waist down as a Black, steampunk corset hugged my waist and breasts.
I moved around the Dungeon. Trying to find this part of me.
Satan’s Wife.
It was still here inside of me. I felt it. I wanted orgies and sex parties. I wanted Debauchery and threesomes.
Ethically.
Came a voice in the back of my head. I hugged the owner of that voice and sighed.
I wanted to be loyal to my Partner. I wanted… I wanted to be loyal to my Partner. I wanted to not have Sex with anyone who didn’t traverse the Journey of the Stages of Intimacy with me. I would not permit anyone who would not hear and know my story…
And accept me.
I smiled and walked to my flogger hanging on a hook. I took my barbed wire, leather flogger I felt the weight of it in my hand. I loved so much about all of this. It was a part of me.
But…
“Where did any of this belong in my life?” I whispered. “How would I fit any of this back into my life as Imagination?” And that, I did not know.
My Partner was not at all into BDSM. I smiled.
No. He was not at all into this World.
I felt like — in reality — I was in a stand off between myself and my Sexuality. Part of me really wanted to just fuck and have sex. Another part of me really wanted to make love… But no part of me wanted this with anyone other than Him.
And I just was not at all sure how I was supposed to proceed forward without him. And also — I did have to proceed.
I twirled my flogger. It brought back so many memories.
I had hurt a lot of people during my Pilgrim’s Journey. I hated that.
I took a shower in the Meta World and came back to this. Bergen was here.
I saw him and understood. I raged and all my Dignity and Grace was forgotten.
“You brought me here! You knew what I’m becoming!” I screamed. My Dungeon shook.
“I couldn’t let you leave. Not during this. You’re in Metamorphosis, Imagination.”
“How am I supposed to live as I am and be True to my Self if I am a God undergoing God Metamorphosis!?” I screamed.
“How can I become what I am — All that I am — and stay Sane in their Eyes, while also commanding and delivering the level of Knowledge I know!
How do I explain to a World of Muggles that the Olympian Gods are real and that I’m Gaia and how everything they thought Gods were — the Pomposity and regality was BULL SHIT!? When all I want to do is join Dionysus — Who just HAPPENS to be Loki, Lucifer, Hades, Lugh, and Osiris all In One because THEY fucked up MY Stories!?”
How the HELL Bergen!? Am I supposed to be a Scientist —
“Athena,” Bergen said.
“– and Imagination –”
“Gaia,” he said.
“– The Fae Queen –”
“Satan’s Wife?” he said.
I paused. “Yes! How!? When all I want to do right now is take my Husband –”
“Satan.”
“And have a three-day orgy with the whole world watching while I just make slow love to my husband! Let the world watch our Wedding Night!? That this Earth is my Wedding Present from him! And that Moon…” His engagement ring.
“How I made all the People for him. And how I gave him the Sun.”
“Kallan,” Bergen said.
I looked up.
“Kallan. Goddess Danu. The Seed of the Goddess. Changed at birth to awaken and remember so as to become.”
“How, Bergen, do I speak Truth so as to not deny what and who I am while also remaining credible to the People?”
I imagined my giving great lectures in Science and Psychology and Philosophy. And then traveling the World in gowns and laughter. Attending Dionysus-styled Galas. A world wearing Grecian Togas.
Orgies and Sex Parties with Saturna as my Imp King and I make love around the globe.
Then on to a Philosophical Dinner…
Philosophy and Science, Adventure and Play, Sex and Debauchery.
“Teaching the world what Ethics really are,” I said.
Bergen sat down beside me.
“You asked for what was inside the chest. Ciardha’s Chest.”
I nodded.
He took a deep breath.
“I wanted to travel the world. I just wanted to learn. I wanted to travel. I was supposed to be building trade with foreign countries. All Roads led to Ra-Kedet. I travelled along the Caravan Lines with the Rus. I landed in Ra-Kedet where they took my documents.”
I listened. Fascinated. Loving the way Bergen was telling me his story.
“I wanted them back. They handed me a ticket and told me I could get them back — copies only — if I went to the library. So I went to the Library. The Library of Ra-Kedet. Only, they woudn’t give me my Documents. They handed me the copies and kept the Originals.
I wanted — I needed — those Documents back. But the only way to get the Originals was to become a Scribe of Ra-Kedet. And the only way to become a Scribe, was to attend their University and Serapeum.
I thought I would study just long enough to get my Documents. I had no idea that their University was not at all like anything else on this earth. And I excelled.”
Bergen shook his head.
“You can’t become a student of The Ashavana Esoteric Sciences and not…”
“It changes you,” I said.
He nodded. “It changes you. It begins as a Curiosity… which becomes an Obsession… which becomes a Quest… which turns into our Knighthood.
And that Knighthood turns you into a servant.”
“And only in servitude,” I said. “Only at the bottom-most of the humblest Submission do you become God.”
He nodded.
“I never made it to the Point of Humblest Submission,” he said. “I feel I failed. But also… I abandoned… everything. I did get my Document back. But by then, it was not at all about the Document or the disguise or… It was about the information I came to learn inside the University under study of The Ashavana Esoteric Sciences.
A Powerful Enemy had plans to destroy the Queen. I became the personal body guard of Bat-Zabbai.”
Bergen scoffed just then, and, shuddering, breaking down, he wept.
That must have been the first time in 19 years that he spoke her name a loud.
His hand on his eyes, he sobbed, hard and long. And I quietly, patiently waited.
“I saw her. I loved her. I was sworn to protect her. That is when I had met Khalid. I secured a solid friendship with Khalid, an Assassin, and a Thief.
You can’t be a Knight of the Ashavana order and not read –”
“I know,” I said. “I saw it too.”
“There were plans to burn the Library and destroy the Ashavana. So Zabbai and I worked together to empty the Library. We had the contents of the Library emptied as much as we could. For five years, all we did was empty as much of the Archives out of the Library… We had Documents and Scrolls and Archives shipped to Eire’s Land. We had Documents and Scrolls and Archives carried into the Desert to a single Temple we called “Solomon’s Temple.”
And we hid the coordinates inside a Chest that I was entrusted to carry to Eire’s Land.
On our last run together — after 7 attempts had been made to burn the Library — Zabbai and I managed to carry the Coordinates safely out of Ra-Kedet. But Zabbai was badly wounded. I was her Body Guard. She was the true Ashavana who had been charged with the protection of the Coordinates.
That night, as she died in my arms, she passed on the Coordinates within the Chest and the Task, to me.
I was to take the Chest — on my own — to Erie’s Land. And I was to leave her there to die in the desert alone. I was to leave immediately.
The last time I saw Zabbai, she was dressed only in gold shackles and chains, paraded like the Emperor’s Pet, in a Roman Street.
I was on a ship an hour later for Erie’s Land with the Chest and the Coordinates locked inside.
At this, Bergen pulled from his side — unseen by myself until now — the white Limestone Chest with the Ash Tree etched on the lid.
I took it from him and held it close.
Something told me that I had been looking for this chest all of my life and for many lives.
I looked it over.
“It’s locked,” I said.
Bergen looked up at the ceiling.
“Your mother gave you a pendant,” he said simply.
“Na Tríonóide,” I gasped. “The Three United.”
I reached down my corset, and took up the pendant that I willed there — where I had always worn it as Kallan — and pulled the pendant from my neck.
The Celtic Knot. Trinity. The Triangle and The Circle. I saw it.
Air. Water. Earth. Love. The Circle.
I looked at the chest. It was faded, but now that I saw Na Tríonóide, I could see it.
I pressed the Pendant to the Seal on the Chest. The Limestone shifted. I heard the gears crank and turn, then pop. And the lid released.
I lifted the lid and peered inside.