Did you see my Business Card?
Or one of my Weird-Ass Ads?
No worries if you haven’t! You still found us! You did it!! Here is Golden Nugget #11! Redeem Your Nugget! (Oh… Yeah. I play Games. These are my “Barenziah Stones”)
You found it! This is where we activate your Quest! First… Get ready… TO READ.
WHAT THE FUCK, ANNA! WHY IS THE FONT SO SMALL!?
I KNOW RIGHT!? It’s because — on this website in particular — I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CHANGE THE FONT SIZE! I am THAT Tech Inept. BUT… I’m working on getting a Tech People who will upgrade my website for me and for the saving of your Eye Balls!
This is one of our Priorities once the funding is in!
Ye Aulde Advertising (A Relic From Old Earth) :
Did you get a Yoda with your Pilgrimage?
How about a Wise Sage in a Pointy Hat?
Did you get an Oracle at least?
A Merlin! Did you get a Merlin?
Well I am The Merlin in your Pocket!
I am The Pilgrim’s Guide!
Who you are?
You are a REALLY Lost and confused Bilbo Baggins or Luke Skywalker who woke up in the Middle of Weird one day and you have NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON!
But everyone is talking about it and they feel about the same way you do! Confused. Meanwhile The Apocalypse-Stat is cranked up to Fire-And-Brimstone outside.
So you all sat down and talked and you all kind of are on the same boat. And no Wizard showed up at your door.
And then there was me…
What I Do?
I am the “Guy” in your Boxing ring, giving you water, telling you how great you are doing and telling you “Now get out there and get punched in the face” while I stay in the corner and cheer you on!
I am the “NPC” who keeps coming back in your Dungeons & Dragons Game at the most inopportune times to give you “One more Quest” with my mysterious Sage Advice that leaves you feeling angry, perplexed, annoyed, and confused while you wonder why I have to speak in riddles all the damn time – But once you solve the riddle, you have the Solution, and you realize why I’m “The Sage.”
I’m that Hermit Crone who lives in the Cave up in the Mountains that people wander the world trying to get to so they can ask the Meaning of Life only to get a wholly unsatisfying answer.
I am that Oracle who tells you nothing that really helps you until it does. But only when you need it most and always just before you realize you can bend the Matrix. You’re welcome. That’s for the Future.
The Goodies You get →
- A Map
- A Compass
- A Manual
- A Guide “The Merlin In Your Pocket”
- A Newspaper “New Earth News™”
- Sunshine Imagination Adventures Philanthropic-Play Events!
- One Community complete with One Playground (Where we have Kindergarten… For Adults!)
- Kindergarten-Themed Training
- Story-Book-Stories From The Weird
- The Science of Magic and Alchemy (I’m a Real-Life Wizard) Magic = Math + Logic
100% of our Proceeds Fuel The Radical Global Healing Plan so we can change the way Education and Psychology are DONE in this world.
NOW… Let’s Activate Your Quest! All you gotta do is CHOOSE THE DOOR to this Journey. Decide HOW You want to Venture Forth. Choose your Door and choose your Brand of Rabbit Hole Ass-Backwardness! We have 7 Holes to choose from.