I stood at the Logos.
I was at the Beginning and the End again where they meet. My breath was taken away. I stared at the Beauty of it All.
A Story. A Single Story. I was looking at Logos. Physics moved through it like Blood. The Heart was Phosphorus. And I was staring at The infamous Fire and Flame of Prometheus. It wasn’t Fire, but Phosphorus. Seidr. Light. Wisdom. Knowledge.
And it omitted the Feeling we call “Love.” Love is what Knowledge Feels like.
“Feeling.”
They are all in Intuition Stage #1 of the Universe. I was in Intuition Stage #4 of the Universe.
But their limitations in Language and Logic prevent them from Seeing beyond Intuition Stage #1. And Chemistry is The Hormones. Math is the Division of Alchemy. Logos is the Summary of All.
Biology was the Henosis.
Chemistry was the Feeling. Intuition State #1
Physics was the Image. Intuition State #2
Math was the Definition. Intuition State #3
Logos was Stage #4. The Fulcrum.
Math again.
Physics.
Chemistry.
Biology. Plato’s Point.
The Fulcrum is the Core is the Heart.
Logos Is.
Love is the Feeling of what Is. And Logos wraps around Biology.
A Feeling is not “Is.”
A Feeling is a Sensation of what Is there.
What IS there is called Logos.
A Feeling is a Symptom — a Consequence — of a Being.
That Being is Logos, which is a word that is much older than “Love.”
Logos is All. It is the Physics, the Math… The Dance of The All of Everything. And when it is Balanced, Love is felt in ratio to the Purity of Logos, which is Truth.
And what I am that I can stand outside of Logos and gaze upon it from the Outside?
“So. When I have “out of body” experiences, I go Outside of Logos itself. Understood.”
My head was swelling. I was tasting copper again. I was extended high above.
And dropped back down again.
Gasping, I fell to the stone ground of the Garden.
Bergen was up and at my side.
“Take it easy,” he said. “Breathe slow.”
I cried. The Vision was still hitting he hard and long. I wanted to cry.
“I found my book,” I said.
“Book?” Bergen asked.
I know I confused him.
“The Great Introduction to Astrology by Abū Maʿšar (2 vols.),” I said that is the Book I need to study Astrology. I found The Origin Source and The Purest Logic of Astrology that predates the Burning of Alexandria.
Abū Maʿšar compiled the Lost Astrology. And I have it back! I can learn from him and integrate that Study with my Work. He said I need The Almagest. That the Astrology does not — cannot — stand on its own. And he’s right.
I need the Alchemy to merge with the Astrology in order for it to work. ”
Bergen helped me to my feet and I sat back down into my chair. I was exhausted. My head was on fire.
I was trying to find the Door of Authenticity.
And once I found the Door of Authenticity… Blank… I was trying to imagine what that would look like.
I could see their faces as they begin to understand. And then their excitement. I can see them telling others. And then it spreads.
It began with a Story. I wanted to tell them my Story. And in my Story, they See… And then… I could see their wanting the Giving Circles. I could see their wanting the Books. I could See…
“Ethics are not defined by Good or Bad, but by how Educated a Person is or is not. The more Educated you are, the more Ethics you obtain, which integrate and compound upon each other. And my Ethics are far more in Quantity and Complexity than all others because my Ethics are the Summation of my Knowledge.
So what is Unethical for me, is not at all Unethical for you. Not does it make you Unethical, but it would be Unethical for me… because I know better.
And I have crossed over.
So I am held by a more Advanced, more complicated Law than All. And I am honorbound to uphold those Ethics. All 74+ of them.
- Many say that I am Unintelligible to them
- Many advise me to be Inauthentic
- Many advise me to cause Psychological Harm
- Many find me Incredible
- Many Malform my Story and are Prejudice
- Many do Not Listen
- Many become Parasitic
When we meet others, they seek the Logical Line for Relatability and also the Story Map Placement.
Also, when I move toward, they withdraw. Newton’s 3rd Law.
If I am Excited, they pull away.
- I must be Patient
- I must be Gentle
- I must be in Logical order
And I must do all of this while being Seen while also honoring the Perimeters of my Ethics.
They seek to Understand me.
So I tell them I’m from Ancient Greek Educational System, and then they understand.
They try to place me on the Map, but they always place me wrong. So I found a way to place me in my True Place.
The Story is the problem at the moment.
They haven’t learned the 8th Ethic to know that they need to Trade Story and Share. When they allow me to tell my story…
I had to remove their Logic Block to receive me.
I had to show them where I am.
Now, when they talk with me — for them it’s a lesson. I give them the words to fill in their blanks. And they are excited to receive these words. But for me…
I’m “correcting” and “filling in gaps” and they think I’m where they are.
And also… I can See it now. I can See the Map. Why do people at “3” think they are — because they don’t know how to Measure Knowledge or Truth.
“Do you know how to Measure Knowledge with Math?”
“Do you know how to Measure Truth with Math?”
If they knew, then they would have the Words I just gave them.
“You’re close,” Bergen said.
“I am,” I said. “I can feel it. Like… I am just analyzing the Stones — Building the Stones — to bridge the gap between them and Me so I can deliver this to them… And we’re so close.”
- Patient
- Gentle
- Logical Order
- Calm
- Authentic
- Safe
- Clear
- Simple. Short. Precise.
- Correct Them Gently.
I can feel it. The Authority… But it isn’t “Authority.” You just can’t be their Friend. Distance. Friendship is for Peers. You cannot mix them both.
I felt it. It was sitting in hard and deep. This was… The Last Lesson. I couldn’t be their Friend. I had contacted my Colleague about Military Leadership when he was a Captain in the Marines. And he said it, “You cannot be their Friend.”
No. No, you cannot. You cannot Lead and also be their Friend. Anymore than a Parent can be your Friend. You can’t.
I could play with my Friends. But I could not play with them. Not as their Friend. It was like running a D&D Game with a bunch of Children.
You can’t be relatable. They cannot be relatable to you. And there it was. That was the problem. I was trying to merge Teacher with Friend. It doesn’t work.
“You lost them at “Relatable,” Bergen said.
I nodded. That is the error they all make. “Make it Relatable.” No. Not when you’re a Teacher, you don’t. You do that and you’re Peer Teaching Peer. If I have to Teach you, then you are not Qualified to Teach me. This “Peer-To-Peer Teaching” is “Helping.” It is not at all Teaching.
They’re so used to climbing on the backs of each other, that they all have forgotten what a Teacher actually is.”
“I can See the Perspective I seek,” I whispered. “I can See it.”
“What makes a person think or say that they desire a Teacher? What makes a person choose a Teacher?”
“What makes you choose a Teacher?”
Quality. Knowledge I don’t possess.
“This is what I know… And what you will want to know if…”
“Abū Ma’͑šar,” Bergen said.
I looked at him. “You wanted knowledge. You chose him to teach you. Why?”
“He has The Knowledge. The Lost Knowledge that was burned in Alexandria and he used the Poiotestat to build all that he knows, and then he said “Almagest. You need Almagest with this book. That Astrology does not stand on its own.” That is when I knew, his Standards were My Standards. And I knew I could trust him. I knew then — this was a Man who was worthy enough to Teach my as Plato too had been.”
“Standards,” Bergen said. “Quality. Psychologically Safe. Ethics and Logic. Education that doesn’t just Teach, but Nourishes while you Learn. Education designed to Nourish you while you learn.”
“They manipulated Trust.”
Friend Trust.
Business Trust.
Student Trust.
Mentor Trust.
“Mentōr,” I said again. “Mentōr.”
I felt it. “I am not a Prophet. Don’t you dare call me a Prophet,” I said. “I’m something different. I’m something else. I can’t be relatable. I can’t be. Because I’m not. No one has walked in my Shoes. But I had walked in all of theirs.”
I stood and walked away from the table.
“I can relate to them. They do not — cannot — relate to me.”
I am not a Prophet.
I am Different.
“You do not follow me or come to me as Friend. Only my Peers can be my Friends. And I have none.”
It then occurred to me. “The Stages of Intimacy are for Friendship also… I need a flow chart,” I said.
I was tired. I was getting so tired. I was exhausted.
“I need to Give Audience.” I needed to Listen. I was suddenly so tired.
I swayed. I was falling asleep right there.
“Anna,” Bergen said.
I all but passed out in my chair.
He caught me and carried me upstairs to my bed.
***
He placed me on my bed. I was battling sleep.
“It was your Vision today,” he said.
My eyes were closed.
“Hm hm,” I hummed. I knew.
“It’s been a while since you’ve spanned out to the Beginning End,” he said.
“It starts over again,” I said. “It’s an Infinity. I thought…”
I trailed off.
“I thought — for two minutes today — that someone was smarter than me.”
I felt him brush back my hair.
“I was wrong. He wasn’t. He was just… Closer to the 7th Door. More so than most. But he was still in the Oasis. He was a 6,” I said. “He showed me his work today. I felt like he handed me a crayon drawing. And I felt like a Proud Mother.”
I felt it then. If they were not willing to Listen to Learn…
“Do I tell them I’m a Guru? Do I tell them I’m a Sage? Do I tell them I’m a Wizard? What can I say to them that they will understand?”
“Or…” Bergen said. “You give them no Name and you let them decide who you are?”
I opened my eyes and looked to Bergen. I smiled.
“Yeah,” I said. “I like that. I think I do like that a lot. Names are Gifts. I would prefer they give me the Names they have for me. I’ll just… Be Me.”
“Eccentric. Free Spirit. Genius,” he said.
“All Names others have given me,” I said.
A moment later, I was asleep.